The Kurva FAQ

Nick Dallett 12/6/99

What is Kurva?

Kurva is a new roller sport invented at Microsoft by members of the Windows Update team. (The name is a particularly vulgar Hungarian epithet – for those who wish to remain globally P.C., we suggest the alternate name “Anti-hockey.”) Kurva is played by 3 or more players using standard roller hockey equipment – rollerblades, hockey sticks, and a street hockey ball.

Kurva is “Anti-Hockey” because unlike Hockey, there are no teams, and no score is kept. However, the extremely competitive and goal-oriented spirit of hockey is maintained.

Except as otherwise noted, these rules are for Hungarian or “standard” Kurva. The rules for Greek Kurva are presented elsewhere in this document.

Who invented Kurva?

Andrew Dadi (adadi@microsoft.com), Nick Dallett (nickdal@microsoft.com), and PeiWei Cao (peiweic@microsoft.com) invented Kurva spontaneously by playing every-man-for-himself hockey in one of the Microsoft parking garages and noting the rules that spontaneously emerged.

What are the rules of Kurva?

Kurva is played in a series of rounds called “stretches.” A stretch is open as long as the ball is in play. The object of the game is to close each stretch with honor.

The Kurva court is rectangular, and is longer than it is wide. A typical court will have walls on at least three sides.

The Kurva goal is a solid object approximately five feet long by four feet high. It is placed 15 – 20 feet before one of the shorter walls. A typical Kurva goal might be a catering table placed on edge, or several trash bins arranged side by side. A proper goal will sound a loud hollow report when struck by the ball.

A portion of the end of the court opposite the goal is designated the end zone. Each stretch opens in the end zone and closes at the goal end of the court.

Kurva play begins when one player takes the ball into the end zone, turns, and begins skating back towards the goal. One or more players may contend for the ball in the end zone. As soon as one player emerges from the end zone in control of the ball, the stretch is open. The player who leaves the end zone in control of the ball is designated the Kurva. At this point, each player attempts to take control of the ball and close the stretch by driving the ball into the front side of the goal. The stretch remains open until one of three things occurs:

1. The ball strikes the goal

2. The ball strikes the back wall

3. The players close the stretch by consensus

The greatest honor is conferred upon the Kurva for scoring a goal, for this requires controlling the ball from the end zone to the goal and successfully evading the defensive players. As soon as another player steals the stretch from the Kurva, they can score without returning to the end zone. However, a player can only become the Kurva by taking the ball back into the end zone and re-opening the stretch.

If a player is controlling the ball is that player the Kurva?

No. A player can only become the Kurva by leaving the end zone in control of the ball. After the ball has been stolen, each player in control of the ball is designated by the defensive strategy they were playing when they took control of the ball.

What are the defensive strategies of Kurva?

Any player other than the Kurva is playing one of two defensive strategies, which we designate The Crow and The Jackal. When another player takes control of the ball, they are designated a Crow or a Jackal based on the manner in which they came into possession of the ball.

The Crow

The Crow harasses the player with the ball, attempting to take possession of the ball directly and aggressively. A player becomes a Crow by stealing the ball or causing the player in possession of the ball to lose control of it. When one or more crows contend for the ball, this is referred to as a “pack of crows.”

The Jackal

The Jackal is an opportunist, hanging back and waiting for a player to lose control of the ball. Typically, a Jackal comes into possession of the ball when it flies out of a fight amongst a pack of crows.

In addition to these two defensive roles, at least one other tactic has been identified:

The Spitting Cobra

The Spitting Cobra is a single move performed by one player in a last ditch attempt to block a goal when there is no chance to come between the ball and the goal. The player who assumes the Spitting Cobra position hurls his stick between the ball and the goal with the intention of preventing another player from acquiring honor. This is a risky move and is rarely performed successfully.

How Does One Acquire Honor?

Striking the goal with the ball while the stretch is open attains honor. The ball may be knocked into the goal either with the player’s stick or with her skate.

Any of the three tactical positions may score a goal. The greatest honor is bestowed upon the Kurva when it is her stretch. Second honor is bestowed upon the Crow in her stretch. The Jackal receives the smallest scoring honor. Remember that any player may become the Kurva by taking the ball into the end zone and emerging in control of the ball. However, that player must ensure that no other player takes control of the ball before she strikes the goal.

Note that the goal must be struck on the front face. Striking the rear of the goal is referred to as a “Greek goal” and confers no honor. Striking the side of the goal is “Half Greek” and also confers no honor.

What Constitutes Dishonor In Kurva?

A dishonorable player is badly liked and disgraces the glorious tradition of Kurva. There are several ways to acquire dishonor during the game of Kurva:

Keeping Score

There is no honor in keeping a tally of honor or attempting to keep track of “points.” Kurva is played for the joy of the game and for the honor conferred. Honor has no price.

Tending Goal

There is no honor in guarding the goal – even the Jackal knows that proper attention is focused on the attempt to control the ball. Honor in Kurva is only attained while struggling to wrest control from one’s opponent.

Intentional Injury

Kurva is a fast-paced, aggressive sport: occasional injury is inevitable. However, it is the sorest dishonor to intentionally cause injury to another player. A Kurva player always disports herself with the utmost honor and courtesy towards her opponent.

What Are Some Other Variants Of Kurva?

The primary variant of Kurva is called “Greek Kurva.” The court for Greek Kurva is somewhat longer than that of Standard Kurva, and the goal sits directly in the middle of the court.

The rules for Greek Kurva are substantially the same, except that the stretch can only be closed by striking the goal, and not by striking the back wall as in Standard Kurva. Goals can be attained from any side of the goal (hence the term “Greek” or “Half Greek” for striking the rear or side of the goal in Standard Kurva).